1. Baltimore is a big tiny ass city. Just go with me on this one... you can drive across town in 35 minutes east to west. North to South in maybe 47 minutes. Sometimes you'll find out about a new spot or you'll go out for weeks on end and not see anyone you know. Then other times you go to CVS to buy a pregnancy test and your 4th grade teacher, pastor, and aunts are there to greet you. Its really weird. And I think my brother is Kevin Bacon or something because everyone knows him its so weird.
2. BARS, BARS, BARS! Baltimore is a bartown, fo sho. Which I like buuuut there arent really any clubs so on holidays the bars are packed like clubs. And white folk dont give a damn about stepping on your Pumas.
3. Public Transportation, we have a subway, lightrail, and bus line. Pretty impressive for tiny town Baltimore. Too bad the vagrants, crackheads, and elderly make every ride complete HELL!
4. Festivals, does this city know how to have a festival? I mean there are plenty of festivals but the traffic situation always outrageous. The bathroom situation... you might as well piss on a tree. If you don't have Facebook you might not even hear about most of the festivals. Its bullshit.
5. The Baltimore Ravens, how do I begin? Kudos on the superbowl win. The Today Show came to Baltimore, it brought a lot of revenue to the city. But can I address the mass frenzy that was the superbowl parade? 3 PEOPLE WERE STABBED! STABBED DURING A CELEBRATION! Who does that?!
6. The weather in Baltimore is something like shaking a Magic 8 Ball. You never ever know what youre gonna get. Every season seems extreme because of this. Facebook statuses are over run with distaste of our weather. You might as well always carry snow boots, an umbrella, and some shorts in the trunk of your car.
7. The ethnic makeup of Charm City is wonderfully diverse. And wonderfully seperated, which is amazing in 2013. On York Rd. there is a Methadone clinic a block away from the mansions of Roland Park... seperated by a stone wall. What is this medieval times?
So all in all I like/hate living in my hometown but Im not leaving, at least not any time soon.
