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| ZE RING! |
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
WE'RE ENGAGED!!!! 1.19.15
Sunday, February 8, 2015
A Relationship with no God
I grew up going to Saturday church school with my brother and Dad. Every Saturday with my Mom waving us off. Until the day I discovered why she never came with us... my mom believes in The Big Bang Theory. That isn't why I don't believe in religion, but it opened the door for me to find my own beliefs and answers. After this I delved into the research of religion and deities... looking for one for me. Id already known A to Z about Christianity and wasn't buying woman being from man's rib, white Jesus, and heaven and hell. From age 10 to 18 I didn't speak much to others about my journey to find a religion. In college I took a Humanities class studying World Religions. My quandary still in full swing. Then it ended abruptly. I researched high and low and knew for sure Id never align my faith with any of the world religions. I felt pretty lost for awhile. I wasn't my Mom, who put her faith in science, but I wasn't my Dad and brother who have unwavering faith in Christianity.
I decided to stop thinking and researching and decided to just live. I didn't fear not having a religion... I feared how others would treat me because I did not...especially in my black community. I figured dating... serious dating was going to be an obstacle, but I am what I am as Popeye said. Dating age 18-22 years old no one cared to ask about religion. But, as I got older I saw my friends (thanks to Facebook) becoming very religious people. Which I've always encouraged, but I did start to feel like an outsider. I had no church outfits...didn't even own a bible anymore. At this point I started to get serious about dating and telling my dates I wasn't religious was crucial. Some took it as if it didn't matter and some had tattoos of crosses and Jesus tatted on them so you can imagine how those conversations went.
Now I realize that I may be comming off as an atheist, but that I am not. Never even entertained that idea, I've always believed in the morals deeply rooted in mostly all the religions, I just never found a religion that mattered to my life making me an apatheist. I have ethics and morals like anyone else just no organized religion to give me rules or a deity.
Back to dating as an apatheist...I've had some really good experiences though where I felt like I've made others comfortable in speaking freely about religion and their experiences. I can tell those times were therapeutic for whatever journey those guys are on. It wasn't until I met my fiancee that I truly felt understood though. I told him this story on our first date.... the story of me finding a religion. He grew up Jehovah Witness... one of the most stringent denominations of Christianity and yet and still he completely understood me. He didn't misunderstand and think I'm a skeptic and he knows I have morals and ethics and respected my journey to understanding.
3 years later we are planning a wedding... a wedding with no religion. He didn't give up any beliefs for me. He like I, kept quiet while he researched and gained understanding. He believes there is a deity out there who created it all, he just chooses to not give it a name, and to honor life by living the best way possible. We ended our journeys with two different summations, but it took us to the same place...matrimony. Its HOLY to us...it holds us to our morals and ethics and we have aligned. My relationship without religion didn't give us a rulebook like most get with religion. We had to make our own combining our life experiences, lessons, and being true to ourselves. Love truly has been our religion. It seemed impossible when I was single, but with Torin I have found true peace. Don't worry we aren't starting a religion or nothing, I just want others out there on the same journey I was on to know its ok to find your own way...its even ok to use others to help you as long as you are true to YOURSELF.
Our wedding vows may not be between us and a deity nor will it be in a holy house, but the vows will be vows between us and our morals, ethics, and our souls. We will promise to love forever not because we are supposed to, but because this is what we have chosen for our lives.
I decided to stop thinking and researching and decided to just live. I didn't fear not having a religion... I feared how others would treat me because I did not...especially in my black community. I figured dating... serious dating was going to be an obstacle, but I am what I am as Popeye said. Dating age 18-22 years old no one cared to ask about religion. But, as I got older I saw my friends (thanks to Facebook) becoming very religious people. Which I've always encouraged, but I did start to feel like an outsider. I had no church outfits...didn't even own a bible anymore. At this point I started to get serious about dating and telling my dates I wasn't religious was crucial. Some took it as if it didn't matter and some had tattoos of crosses and Jesus tatted on them so you can imagine how those conversations went.
Now I realize that I may be comming off as an atheist, but that I am not. Never even entertained that idea, I've always believed in the morals deeply rooted in mostly all the religions, I just never found a religion that mattered to my life making me an apatheist. I have ethics and morals like anyone else just no organized religion to give me rules or a deity.
Back to dating as an apatheist...I've had some really good experiences though where I felt like I've made others comfortable in speaking freely about religion and their experiences. I can tell those times were therapeutic for whatever journey those guys are on. It wasn't until I met my fiancee that I truly felt understood though. I told him this story on our first date.... the story of me finding a religion. He grew up Jehovah Witness... one of the most stringent denominations of Christianity and yet and still he completely understood me. He didn't misunderstand and think I'm a skeptic and he knows I have morals and ethics and respected my journey to understanding.
3 years later we are planning a wedding... a wedding with no religion. He didn't give up any beliefs for me. He like I, kept quiet while he researched and gained understanding. He believes there is a deity out there who created it all, he just chooses to not give it a name, and to honor life by living the best way possible. We ended our journeys with two different summations, but it took us to the same place...matrimony. Its HOLY to us...it holds us to our morals and ethics and we have aligned. My relationship without religion didn't give us a rulebook like most get with religion. We had to make our own combining our life experiences, lessons, and being true to ourselves. Love truly has been our religion. It seemed impossible when I was single, but with Torin I have found true peace. Don't worry we aren't starting a religion or nothing, I just want others out there on the same journey I was on to know its ok to find your own way...its even ok to use others to help you as long as you are true to YOURSELF.
Our wedding vows may not be between us and a deity nor will it be in a holy house, but the vows will be vows between us and our morals, ethics, and our souls. We will promise to love forever not because we are supposed to, but because this is what we have chosen for our lives.
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