20 weeks. HALF WAY THERE!!!! 4.22.15

So after our awesome Reveal Party... btw Bobwehadababyitsagirl! We hit the 20 week mark!!!! woot woot! yasssss.

Im no longer losing weight, sorta leveled off. My blood pressure was pretty high for 2 months straight but Ive finally gotten that under control. 

I was on a mission to tour other hospitals because I wasnt sure about GBMC, but now as I write this I am 22 weeks. I love my OB so I think Im going to stick with GBMC. Next time Ill do a water birth at another hospital. This time Ill just push her out and catch her like Kortney Kardashian.... (hey not all references of their family are bad)

LOOK AT THAT ROUND BELLY!

Symptoms... none really... food aversions, random bouts of nausea still, boob pain... well I guess I do have symptoms haha. Of the 14lbs I lost I have gained back 2. So here comes the weight gain!

 

Whats Next??? Birthing classes, more prenatal yoga, and more walking. Its a waiting game now. I do plan on getting a belly cast done around the 30 weeks mark. 22 weeks today. 

COUNTDOWN TO SEPTEMBER! I can see the finish line!

Our Engagement Shoot!!!

Photos taken by Stephanie Michelle Photography

Location: Rawlings Conservatory and Botanical Gardens and Druid Hill Park and Reservoir in Baltimore City. 

Baby Matthews: The Reveal Party Vlog 4.19.15

16 weeks pregnant...

First let me sum up my first trimester....

YAY......HEARTBEAT......CAN'T EAT SHIT.....HATE MY FAVORITE FOODS.....QUEASINESS....DOCTOR'S VISIT.....E.R. VISITS.....BLOOD....ER VISITS......

yeaaaaa so pretty much sucked except for the fact that I bought a doppler and can listen to Baby Matthews to ensure he/she is doing well.

now the second trimester thus far

FEELING GREAT....BABY BUMP....WAIT IM SICK!.....WISDOM TOOTH PULLED ARGH!!!.....IM THROWIN UP EVERYWHERE.....BLEH....BLEH...BLEH...

In 17 days we will find out the gender. Im excited to debunk all the bullshit myths of acne and lots of morning sickness denoting a certain gender. Im just ready to say HE or SHE with confidence. Ive felt some fluttering. Awesome and creepy at the same time. Its like a goldfish flopping around in my stomach. But i know its a baby. Here are some pics of my progress.

Oh yea and ive lost 14 lbs. geesh this baby is taking all my calories! But i aint mad atcha!

13 weeks

15weeks

Our new love...

written: 2/24/15

Me and Torin found out we were pregnant on December 31st, our 3 year anniversary with our first child. I am now 11 weeks and 5 days and next Tuesday Ill finally be able to tell my parents. They are coming in town from Florida and I was determined to tell them in person. I believe every mom should be told in person. We will finally tell Torin's parents too. This is all so exciting. Torin and I have always talked about having a family of 3 or 4... id like 5 and we have started, We got pregnant right away on the first try. The pregnancy has not been easy. I was bogged down with nausea from weeks 4-10. This is the first week I haven't experienced it. It got so bad I had to take Zofran for a week. I am still currently working full time and even though I have a very sedentary job, it is taxing. I have a stressful job and at the end of week 9 I experienced spotting. I went straight to GBMC Labor and Delivery department and had my second ultrasound (I had my first at 7 weeks, I saw a strong heartbeat and a picture of a blob haha). After a vaginal exam it was ruled that they couldn't find where the bleeding was coming from. During the ultrasound my baby showed a strong heartbeat and was doing good. The nurse practitioner sent me back to work. 7 days later after a day of no blood I got up and a gush of blood came out like the beginning of a period. I thought I was miscarrying. But I slept on it and called my doctor the next day who told me to go back to Labor and Delivery. Another exam was done I only had that one gush of blood and spotting when I wiped after that. Again they couldn't see where the blood was coming from and it wasn't a lot. Another ultrasound showed again a heartbeat of 176bpm and I saw my baby's large head and its arm for the first time. This time they sent me home with strict bed rest for 5 days. This brings me to today, 11 weeks and 5 days. Not out of the woods yet and accepting the fact that I am the 1 in every 4 woman who bleeds and trying not to stress. Our baby is due 9/11/15, what a dubious day for some will be the most joyous day ever for me and my now fiance' (he proposed on MLK day right after our first sonogram. it was so special and perfect). I cant wait to meet my baby, I think its a boy. My baby boy. I cant wait to be forever changed because he looks at me and I look at him and we have a conversation with our souls. I cant wait to have him between me and my fiance as we take our first dance as newlyweds at our wedding in December. I cant wait for my mom to meet her first grandchild. I can't wait to know he is healthy and whole and mine. I cant wait to meet my love.

WE'RE ENGAGED!!!! 1.19.15

MLK Day, my handsome boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed. We both cried and cried and held each other. It was special and perfect. I had always dreamed of a big deal being made with a camera crew, but when the moment happened I didn't care about any of that frill. Torin knows me well and the intimate occasion was perfectly us.  We decided to capture our announcement with humor. That's totally us, serious moment then laughter must ensue. Peas and Carrots.

 

wait thats not right....

 

ZE RING! 

A Relationship with no God

I grew up going to Saturday church school with my brother and Dad. Every Saturday with my Mom waving us off. Until the day I discovered why she never came with us... my mom believes in The Big Bang Theory. That isn't why I don't believe in religion, but it opened the door for me to find my own beliefs and answers. After this I delved into the research of religion and deities... looking for one for me. Id already known A to Z about Christianity and wasn't buying woman being from man's rib, white Jesus, and heaven and hell. From age 10 to 18 I didn't speak much to others about my journey to find a religion. In college I took a Humanities class studying World Religions. My quandary still in full swing. Then it ended abruptly. I researched high and low and knew for sure Id never align my faith with any of the world religions. I felt pretty lost for awhile. I wasn't my Mom, who put her faith in science, but I wasn't my Dad and brother who have unwavering faith in Christianity.

I decided to stop thinking and researching and decided to just live. I didn't fear not having a religion... I feared how others would treat me because I did not...especially in my black community. I figured dating... serious dating was going to be an obstacle, but I am what I am as Popeye said. Dating age 18-22 years old no one cared to ask about religion. But, as I got older I saw my friends (thanks to Facebook) becoming very religious people. Which I've always encouraged, but I did start to feel like an outsider. I had no church outfits...didn't even own a bible anymore. At this point I started to get serious about dating and telling my dates I wasn't religious was crucial. Some took it as if it didn't matter and some had tattoos of crosses and Jesus tatted on them so you can imagine how those conversations went.

Now I realize that I may be comming off as an atheist, but that I am not. Never even entertained that idea, I've always believed in the morals deeply rooted in mostly all the religions, I just never found a religion that mattered to my life making me an apatheist. I have ethics and morals like anyone else just no organized religion to give me rules or a deity.

 Back to dating as an apatheist...I've had some really good experiences though where I felt like I've made others comfortable in speaking freely about religion and their experiences. I can tell those times were therapeutic for whatever journey those guys are on. It wasn't until I met my fiancee that I truly felt understood though. I told him this story on our first date.... the story of me finding a religion. He grew up Jehovah Witness... one of the most stringent denominations of Christianity and yet and still he completely understood me. He didn't misunderstand and think I'm a skeptic and he knows I have morals and ethics and respected my journey to understanding.

3 years later we are planning a wedding... a wedding with no religion. He didn't give up any beliefs for me. He like I, kept quiet while he researched and gained understanding. He believes there is a deity out there who created it all, he just chooses to not give it a name, and to honor life by living the best way possible. We ended our journeys with two different summations, but it took us to the same place...matrimony. Its HOLY to us...it holds us to our morals and ethics and we have aligned. My relationship without religion didn't give us a rulebook like most get with religion. We had to make our own combining our life experiences, lessons, and being true to ourselves. Love truly has been our religion. It seemed impossible when I was single, but with Torin I have found true peace. Don't worry we aren't starting a religion or nothing, I just want others out there on the same journey I was on to know its ok to find your own way...its even ok to use others to help you as long as you are true to YOURSELF.

Our wedding vows may not be between us and a deity nor will it be in a holy house, but the vows will be vows between us and our morals, ethics, and our souls. We will promise to love forever not because we are supposed to, but because this is what we have chosen for our lives.